Q&A with ThanksUSA Scholar Madisyn Clark
Her stated purpose in life is to serve others, specifically those with disabilities. As a college student, Madi volunteers at her local church in preparation for a career in special needs ministry. She is currently double majoring in Special Education and Bible at Grand Canyon University in Phoenix, Arizona. Madi also served as the president of Canyon Inclusive, a special needs ministry club, and helped plan a university-wide Disability Awareness Campaign.
This Military Appreciation Month, Madi shares her experiences as a military child growing up with her Army National Guard dad, mom, and older brother and sister. After persevering through the ups and downs of the military lifestyle, and surviving a devastating helicopter crash, the Clark family thrives when serving others and enjoying small moments together.
This Military Appreciation Month, Madi shares her experiences as a military child growing up with her Army National Guard dad, mom, and older brother and sister. After persevering through the ups and downs of the military lifestyle, and surviving a devastating helicopter crash, the Clark family thrives when serving others and enjoying small moments together.
Reflect on how being raised in a military family has affected who you are now.
Growing up, my dad always told me to improvise, adapt and overcome. This saying came from his time in the military and has become my motto. I learned that often things do not go as planned. However, you keep going. After watching my dad's battle with his disability, I saw perseverance and determination that I adopted in my own life. I am thankful to be a military child as I have had experiences that created the person I am today, for the better.
What are the great things for you as a child in a military family?
I appreciate the small moments with my entire family because I know how rare they are. When my family comes together, we have a great time as we have learned to be more intentional together. I have learned that the military is one very large and diverse family. Since my dad spends a lot of time with fellow veterans, they have become part of my family as well, sometimes as second parents. The family aspect of the military is one of the best parts of growing up in a military family.
Tell us about the challenges your dad faced after being injured and how that affected you and your family.
When my dad was injured in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan, I was only seven years old. If I am to be honest, I do not have many memories of my dad before the crash, and once he came back, he was a different person. He faced the end of his flying career, the realities of post-traumatic stress disorder, a traumatic brain injury, and other physical injuries from his crash. It was not easy, and my dad struggled with many things which led him to being in an in-patient care center. This was difficult on my whole family. My mom became a single mom again, as she was during my dad’s deployment and trainings. My sister was entering college, my brother was in high school, and I was ten years old.
I do not remember a lot from this time period as it was a painful and chaotic time for all involved. People were taking care of my dad which I am extremely grateful for, and slowly others started reaching out to my mom which was incredibly important; but not much was done for my siblings and me. I was growing up without a dad again. I blamed myself because I felt like I had something to do with the problems my family was facing, and guilt that I could not fix any of it. I shut down, stopped smiling, stopped being cheerful or happy, and stopped being social.
A person’s disability, post-traumatic stress disorder, and traumatic brain injury impact every single person in their family. It is not their fault, and I do not blame my dad at all; he still is the best dad that he can be. The reality is, while it is not a parent or spouse’s fault, it still impacts the family, and needs more awareness. No one at the time knew what was going on with me, and it was not until many years later after I worked through many of those feelings that I learned the truth. The truth is, chaos in a family due to a parent’s military-related disability can hurt the children, especially when they are young. There are still effects that my siblings and I have to deal with from this time period in our lives.
Eventually my mom retired to become my dad’s full-time caretaker. This was for the best to make sure that my dad gets the care he needs, as he cannot complete many everyday tasks without assistance. However, it has been a strain on my family financially since my mom left her higher-paying job to become a caretaker. My mom has many responsibilities now, and I try to help wherever I can even when I am in college. The number one concern in everyone’s mind in my family is my dad and his health. I have worries that are probably not typical for a college student, however, this is my normal. In the end, I am thankful every day that my dad survived the crash and is still here today no matter the challenges we might face.
Growing up, my dad always told me to improvise, adapt and overcome. This saying came from his time in the military and has become my motto. I learned that often things do not go as planned. However, you keep going. After watching my dad's battle with his disability, I saw perseverance and determination that I adopted in my own life. I am thankful to be a military child as I have had experiences that created the person I am today, for the better.
What are the great things for you as a child in a military family?
I appreciate the small moments with my entire family because I know how rare they are. When my family comes together, we have a great time as we have learned to be more intentional together. I have learned that the military is one very large and diverse family. Since my dad spends a lot of time with fellow veterans, they have become part of my family as well, sometimes as second parents. The family aspect of the military is one of the best parts of growing up in a military family.
Tell us about the challenges your dad faced after being injured and how that affected you and your family.
When my dad was injured in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan, I was only seven years old. If I am to be honest, I do not have many memories of my dad before the crash, and once he came back, he was a different person. He faced the end of his flying career, the realities of post-traumatic stress disorder, a traumatic brain injury, and other physical injuries from his crash. It was not easy, and my dad struggled with many things which led him to being in an in-patient care center. This was difficult on my whole family. My mom became a single mom again, as she was during my dad’s deployment and trainings. My sister was entering college, my brother was in high school, and I was ten years old.
I do not remember a lot from this time period as it was a painful and chaotic time for all involved. People were taking care of my dad which I am extremely grateful for, and slowly others started reaching out to my mom which was incredibly important; but not much was done for my siblings and me. I was growing up without a dad again. I blamed myself because I felt like I had something to do with the problems my family was facing, and guilt that I could not fix any of it. I shut down, stopped smiling, stopped being cheerful or happy, and stopped being social.
A person’s disability, post-traumatic stress disorder, and traumatic brain injury impact every single person in their family. It is not their fault, and I do not blame my dad at all; he still is the best dad that he can be. The reality is, while it is not a parent or spouse’s fault, it still impacts the family, and needs more awareness. No one at the time knew what was going on with me, and it was not until many years later after I worked through many of those feelings that I learned the truth. The truth is, chaos in a family due to a parent’s military-related disability can hurt the children, especially when they are young. There are still effects that my siblings and I have to deal with from this time period in our lives.
Eventually my mom retired to become my dad’s full-time caretaker. This was for the best to make sure that my dad gets the care he needs, as he cannot complete many everyday tasks without assistance. However, it has been a strain on my family financially since my mom left her higher-paying job to become a caretaker. My mom has many responsibilities now, and I try to help wherever I can even when I am in college. The number one concern in everyone’s mind in my family is my dad and his health. I have worries that are probably not typical for a college student, however, this is my normal. In the end, I am thankful every day that my dad survived the crash and is still here today no matter the challenges we might face.
Madi, front and center, with her family
Both your brother and sister are in the Air Force. How did you feel when they decided to join the military, especially since you're the youngest of the three?
The military, for my family, is like the family business. My grandpa, uncle, dad, brother, sister, and many more family members have joined the military. It is hard being separated from my siblings. Since they are so much older than me, they were both across the country by the time I was in eighth grade. They missed many milestones for me, but it has made me appreciate the time I do get to spend with them even more. While they both have a different job than my dad did, it is still hard to see them go to active war zones after my dad’s injury in Afghanistan. My sister was actually deployed in Afghanistan on the 10-year anniversary of my dad’s helicopter crash. That was difficult for the whole family at the time, yet I am thankful and proud of my sister, her husband, and my brother for their service for their country.
You plan to serve others through a special needs ministry. How did you come to that decision?
I first started volunteering with special needs kids in high school after a friend of mine recommended it. After that point, there was no going back, and I knew my purpose in life was to work with people with disabilities. Once I had this realization, I poured all of my time into volunteering. I volunteered in a special needs classroom, with Unified Sports, and in a special needs’ ministry every Saturday night. I was able to see the great need of special needs ministries as many families with disabled children or adults are not always welcomed at churches. I think it is extremely important to share Jesus’s love to all, including those with special needs, their parents, and their siblings.
If you could give your child self any advice about growing up in a military family what would you say?
Your childhood will be difficult, and you will have to grow up faster than most other kids. However, you are going to learn so much. Learn how to persevere. Learn to be determined to do the right thing. Learn to be patient with others and yourself. Learn how to work as a team. Enjoy the moments you have as a whole family and remember that together you can overcome anything.
These are challenging times with the COVID-19 pandemic affecting the world. How has it affected you and your family and what are you doing to adjust?
My college shut down, so I am currently living at home with my parents. Ironically, my dad is actually doing better than normal; due to his PTSD, he does better in chaotic environments as that is what he is used to. The biggest thing is trying to stay active and giving my dad something to look forward to each day. I have started having my dad and I take the dogs on a walk around the neighborhood daily. Also, my dad and I are watching the Marvel series chronologically. I try to be mindful of other people's situations, and I have been making homemade cards for the special needs kids that I work with. In all, my family is doing well and trying to make the best out of this situation by improvising, adapting and overcoming.
The military, for my family, is like the family business. My grandpa, uncle, dad, brother, sister, and many more family members have joined the military. It is hard being separated from my siblings. Since they are so much older than me, they were both across the country by the time I was in eighth grade. They missed many milestones for me, but it has made me appreciate the time I do get to spend with them even more. While they both have a different job than my dad did, it is still hard to see them go to active war zones after my dad’s injury in Afghanistan. My sister was actually deployed in Afghanistan on the 10-year anniversary of my dad’s helicopter crash. That was difficult for the whole family at the time, yet I am thankful and proud of my sister, her husband, and my brother for their service for their country.
You plan to serve others through a special needs ministry. How did you come to that decision?
I first started volunteering with special needs kids in high school after a friend of mine recommended it. After that point, there was no going back, and I knew my purpose in life was to work with people with disabilities. Once I had this realization, I poured all of my time into volunteering. I volunteered in a special needs classroom, with Unified Sports, and in a special needs’ ministry every Saturday night. I was able to see the great need of special needs ministries as many families with disabled children or adults are not always welcomed at churches. I think it is extremely important to share Jesus’s love to all, including those with special needs, their parents, and their siblings.
If you could give your child self any advice about growing up in a military family what would you say?
Your childhood will be difficult, and you will have to grow up faster than most other kids. However, you are going to learn so much. Learn how to persevere. Learn to be determined to do the right thing. Learn to be patient with others and yourself. Learn how to work as a team. Enjoy the moments you have as a whole family and remember that together you can overcome anything.
These are challenging times with the COVID-19 pandemic affecting the world. How has it affected you and your family and what are you doing to adjust?
My college shut down, so I am currently living at home with my parents. Ironically, my dad is actually doing better than normal; due to his PTSD, he does better in chaotic environments as that is what he is used to. The biggest thing is trying to stay active and giving my dad something to look forward to each day. I have started having my dad and I take the dogs on a walk around the neighborhood daily. Also, my dad and I are watching the Marvel series chronologically. I try to be mindful of other people's situations, and I have been making homemade cards for the special needs kids that I work with. In all, my family is doing well and trying to make the best out of this situation by improvising, adapting and overcoming.
