By Courtney Bonine, ThanksUSA Scholar
At the end of October, I traveled to Washington, DC with my parents Theresa and Gregory for the annual ThanksUSA Military Family Gala. I was awarded several scholarships through ThanksUSA, and because of our family’s story the organization brought us to the nation’s capital as the 'Family of Honor' for the Gala. It was truly an honor for us.
That night, I was not only recognized for being a scholarship recipient; there was so much more. We met singer LeAnn Rimes and had countless strangers come up and shake our hands telling us how much our story had touched them. The overwhelming experience of standing on stage waiting to speak as the crowd watched our video – that’s how we were introduced – was enough anticipation, but as the lights came on and before I could even say a word, the whole room was on their feet clapping and cheering for me, for my parents, for our story.
Here’s some of what I shared:
When my mom was first deployed I was just five years old. I remember writing her letters and sending her packages and occasionally talking via yahoo messenger when it would work. I also remember the day she returned home from her 15-month-long deployment. We were walking and my sister Emily yelled “mommy mommy” as she took off running towards this strange lady in uniform. At six years old I didn’t recognize my own mom.
My dad decided to join the military in 2008, and we were stationed in Colorado. Again leaving all of our friends and the place that had become home. We lived in a tiny little town called Elbert and went to school there for a few years. My dad was deployed to Afghanistan in 2009 and only made it six months when his barracks was hit by an RPG, blasting my dad and filling him with shrapnel from head to foot. We got a call saying that he had been hit and was still alive but we had no idea what condition he was in or how long it would be before we could see him. He was taken to Germany and then back to the States without allowing any communication between him and us.
What seemed like months later we got word that my dad would be coming back home and we were able to go wait for him on the flight line. I vividly remember my dad being rolled off the C-17 on a stretcher and seeing pure joy mixed with relief on his face when he saw his family. Running up to my dad and not being able to hug him as he was covered in holes and was still strapped down did not even matter, because we were so grateful to just have him home.
I was 10 years old at this point in my life. After two deployments with these separations, my sister Emily and I became inseparable as the only one that remained constant in our lives was each other. And it wasn’t just deployments. People don’t realize that military parents (my Mom mainly) go away for drill weekends, annual training, courses in another state for months at a time, and the time spent preparing for deployment which can be several months at a time. As a child you have no choice but to learn to live without that parent.
And other families didn’t “get” ours. Growing up, ours was the only military family around, and I still to this day have not met another kid who had two military parents who were active at the same time. It’s rare, but growing up that way was my normal.
My friends didn’t understand what it was like to have a parent miss Christmas, a birthday, 4H events, everything. At the same time my parents were looked down on for not being there enough for their kids or “choosing” their careers over their families. That goes to show how little civilians know about what sacrifices are being made every single day. It isn’t just the soldier; it is the spouse, the children, the parents, the siblings. It is hard on every person that loves that service member. It is learning to live without someone, or when they return home, being faced with someone familiar on the outside but not remotely the same on the inside.
In fact, there’s something that is under acknowledged and little understood -- how much a military person changes when they come home from a deployment.
That night, I was not only recognized for being a scholarship recipient; there was so much more. We met singer LeAnn Rimes and had countless strangers come up and shake our hands telling us how much our story had touched them. The overwhelming experience of standing on stage waiting to speak as the crowd watched our video – that’s how we were introduced – was enough anticipation, but as the lights came on and before I could even say a word, the whole room was on their feet clapping and cheering for me, for my parents, for our story.
Here’s some of what I shared:
When my mom was first deployed I was just five years old. I remember writing her letters and sending her packages and occasionally talking via yahoo messenger when it would work. I also remember the day she returned home from her 15-month-long deployment. We were walking and my sister Emily yelled “mommy mommy” as she took off running towards this strange lady in uniform. At six years old I didn’t recognize my own mom.
My dad decided to join the military in 2008, and we were stationed in Colorado. Again leaving all of our friends and the place that had become home. We lived in a tiny little town called Elbert and went to school there for a few years. My dad was deployed to Afghanistan in 2009 and only made it six months when his barracks was hit by an RPG, blasting my dad and filling him with shrapnel from head to foot. We got a call saying that he had been hit and was still alive but we had no idea what condition he was in or how long it would be before we could see him. He was taken to Germany and then back to the States without allowing any communication between him and us.
What seemed like months later we got word that my dad would be coming back home and we were able to go wait for him on the flight line. I vividly remember my dad being rolled off the C-17 on a stretcher and seeing pure joy mixed with relief on his face when he saw his family. Running up to my dad and not being able to hug him as he was covered in holes and was still strapped down did not even matter, because we were so grateful to just have him home.
I was 10 years old at this point in my life. After two deployments with these separations, my sister Emily and I became inseparable as the only one that remained constant in our lives was each other. And it wasn’t just deployments. People don’t realize that military parents (my Mom mainly) go away for drill weekends, annual training, courses in another state for months at a time, and the time spent preparing for deployment which can be several months at a time. As a child you have no choice but to learn to live without that parent.
And other families didn’t “get” ours. Growing up, ours was the only military family around, and I still to this day have not met another kid who had two military parents who were active at the same time. It’s rare, but growing up that way was my normal.
My friends didn’t understand what it was like to have a parent miss Christmas, a birthday, 4H events, everything. At the same time my parents were looked down on for not being there enough for their kids or “choosing” their careers over their families. That goes to show how little civilians know about what sacrifices are being made every single day. It isn’t just the soldier; it is the spouse, the children, the parents, the siblings. It is hard on every person that loves that service member. It is learning to live without someone, or when they return home, being faced with someone familiar on the outside but not remotely the same on the inside.
In fact, there’s something that is under acknowledged and little understood -- how much a military person changes when they come home from a deployment.
There was no sneaking into mom’s and dad’s room in the middle of the night to cuddle in bed with them, because they were often having night terrors. There were more struggles. My parents divorced, Mom struggling as a single mother, Dad struggling with medications switched so often that he was not mentally stable enough to be a father or a husband and moved away from us. He needed that time to figure out his own life so that he could be there for my sister and me and, eventually, he was.
Somehow, I worked hard to make it through life, in part, through education and activities like track and basketball and with horses. I dreamed of running my own equine ministry since I was eight years old and had my mind set on earning a degree in Equine Science. Easier said than done, since my parents couldn’t afford tuition. But after applying to every scholarship under the sun, I attended Northeastern Junior College in Colorado and earned my Associate’s in Equine Science and my Associate’s in Equine Management. I’m proud to say that I was on the President’s List and a Phi Theta Kappa member, among other awards and recognition.
Today my dream is to have my own Equine Event Facility to host events such as weddings, rodeo bible camps, ranch horse bible camps, ranch horse shows, and whatever else can be dreamed up. I’m working on making it all come to fruition starting with gaining some experience in the field. I currently work as a property manager for a wedding venue and I hope to start being the show secretary for a horse show series.
And, well, speaking of weddings… While in college I met a fine young man named Austin Piper who shared my dream. He’s been an instructor for the rodeo bible camp that his family started a couple of years ago, so we’re combining forces, you might say. Austin, who grew up working on feedlots and rodeoing wants to raise the livestock needed to host my dream events. We were married on November 9, 2019. I can’t wait to see what more lies ahead.
But back for a moment to that night with my ThanksUSA family. I still cannot even put into words the overwhelming feeling of being loved and appreciated. All of a sudden all of the trials and tribulations we had been through, melted away. The sacrifices we had to make, were completely and totally worth it. To witness that many people come together and care about us, was mind-boggling.
Somehow, I worked hard to make it through life, in part, through education and activities like track and basketball and with horses. I dreamed of running my own equine ministry since I was eight years old and had my mind set on earning a degree in Equine Science. Easier said than done, since my parents couldn’t afford tuition. But after applying to every scholarship under the sun, I attended Northeastern Junior College in Colorado and earned my Associate’s in Equine Science and my Associate’s in Equine Management. I’m proud to say that I was on the President’s List and a Phi Theta Kappa member, among other awards and recognition.
Today my dream is to have my own Equine Event Facility to host events such as weddings, rodeo bible camps, ranch horse bible camps, ranch horse shows, and whatever else can be dreamed up. I’m working on making it all come to fruition starting with gaining some experience in the field. I currently work as a property manager for a wedding venue and I hope to start being the show secretary for a horse show series.
And, well, speaking of weddings… While in college I met a fine young man named Austin Piper who shared my dream. He’s been an instructor for the rodeo bible camp that his family started a couple of years ago, so we’re combining forces, you might say. Austin, who grew up working on feedlots and rodeoing wants to raise the livestock needed to host my dream events. We were married on November 9, 2019. I can’t wait to see what more lies ahead.
But back for a moment to that night with my ThanksUSA family. I still cannot even put into words the overwhelming feeling of being loved and appreciated. All of a sudden all of the trials and tribulations we had been through, melted away. The sacrifices we had to make, were completely and totally worth it. To witness that many people come together and care about us, was mind-boggling.
Complete strangers came up to us to shake our hands and say thank you. I never really considered my story to be worth something to someone else. But for so many people to think we were special enough to be personally thanked on that scale, is just remarkable. I can’t help but feel like I made some sort of a difference in someone else’s life, even if it was only for a few minutes. I was able to share my story will a room full of people and give them an appreciation for what military families sacrifice as well as an appreciation for their own lives.
Everyone goes through struggles, and my struggles are in no way any bigger or harder than the next person’s; but having the opportunity to share a little bit of inspiration was more than I could ask for.
Ever since I was little I have always wanted to change the whole world. As I grow up I am realizing how satisfying it is to just change the world for one person at a time. Sharing my story with others has given me that sense of satisfaction.
I do not know what I did to deserve such kindness and admiration, but all I can say is I am just me, Courtney Bonine, no different than any other 20-year-old girl. A story so similar to hundreds of other military children and spouses. I am not the only one in desperate need of feeling appreciated. I am just so blessed to have received such an abundance of it. I pray that every soldier and every military child is able to one day feel and know that they too are appreciated.
Everyone goes through struggles, and my struggles are in no way any bigger or harder than the next person’s; but having the opportunity to share a little bit of inspiration was more than I could ask for.
Ever since I was little I have always wanted to change the whole world. As I grow up I am realizing how satisfying it is to just change the world for one person at a time. Sharing my story with others has given me that sense of satisfaction.
I do not know what I did to deserve such kindness and admiration, but all I can say is I am just me, Courtney Bonine, no different than any other 20-year-old girl. A story so similar to hundreds of other military children and spouses. I am not the only one in desperate need of feeling appreciated. I am just so blessed to have received such an abundance of it. I pray that every soldier and every military child is able to one day feel and know that they too are appreciated.
Courtney and Austin, married in November 2019
